Five Months

It has been five months since he left Mom. Two months after I had my own wedding, he walked out on my mom. I can count the number of times he’s gotten in contact with me on one hand. I would still have fingers left over.

I turned 30 in November, and he didn’t acknowledge it. I assumed that would happen, as I always knew my mom was the one who planned birthday parties and bought presents. It still hurt.

I always heard the stereotypes about children of divorced parents. They blame themselves, they feel caught in the middle, they don’t want to be the messenger.

Nobody talks about the adult children of a divorced couple. I find myself laughing when I realize how similar my experiences must be with a 9 year old. I tell myself I should’ve said something earlier, I should have been more adamant. I loathe talking about it with my mom. I hate getting those few e-mails from my dad because he is so distant. I know I need to talk to him, but I have absolutely no idea what to say. No idea.

My parents are about to finalize their divorce. I am 30 years old, but I feel like a little kid.

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